Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Trying to become an extreme middle of the roadist

I am definitely more of a carrot person and usually find that I look for reasons not to get firm and find excuses to give another carrot. Having an LBI seems to make it easier for me to do this. I have found it challenging to find the middle of the road over the years, as I am a bit of an extremist with every thing I discover or learn. I recently had an experience that showed me again, how I have to find a way to remain in the middle of the road and not expect extreme results from just one thing. I invited Jim Crew to come to Hawaii and it was amazing! He did a lecture and demo day and my horse was the one that he made some changes to. It was incredible! I hadn't realized she was in pain all these years, but saw the difference in her when she got comfortable. She was fluid and seemed to want to move. I was moved to tears. So...I went out to play with her the next day and basically threw all the horsenality strategies I've learned out the window. Subconsciously, I found my way to a belief that her discomfort had been the reason for all her sluggish tendencies. Well, I was in for a surprise. She didn't like the small round pen and I hadn't used any strategies to get her motivated, so things went downhill fast. I rode the next day, again, not using enough strategies and just going to the arena. This area usually gets her a little amped because we haven't spend a lot of time in there. Also, I used to get a little anxious when in the arena, so there ya go:-) Nope, she would walk, trot, stop, backup, but just couldn't find the energy to canter. On the bright side our clover leaf and follow the rail with no reins was feeling pretty good, which I had to remind myself was a great thing to be aware of. So, the next day I went back to LBI strategies, remembering the 8 principles and checking her body balance which still seemed good. I saw her get motivated again. I've begun to find my way to the middle of the road, but how long can I stay here this time? I finally am okay accepting each situation that arises and am grateful I can recognize when I'm there and when I've gone too far to either side of things. I'm finding fun in puzzle solving to find what gets results. Now, can I remain in that frame of mind in front of people and not put my ego ahead of my horse's needs? The journey continues.

Trying for Zero Brace

After hearing Linda talk about zero brace a few times and reading her recent blog along with one student's comment, in particular, I got motivated to try it with my LBI mare. Yesterday I decided to attempt circles Online with the 22' line and set it up for zero brace. I figured we'd REALLY drift because she usually pushes on the end of the line and I usually stand firm in the center of my circle and we do end up with brace. It was close to feeding time and I was playing near my paddock, so she definitely had her mind on food. After starting the session with our fun "I whistle and you come into the halter" game, I did a little lead by the tail and sideways toward, which she enjoys, and offered a couple treat rewards and then on to the circle. Well, first of all, she didn't move much, as she was more introverted and getting that look of "I'm stuck in my head" rather than punky "I don't want to", so I waited. When she came out of it, I tried again with a big send and off she went with a couple strides of trot and then back to the walk. I kept my focus on the goal of zero brace. As she came around the circle she headed on toward the barn and I went with it. She was pulling a bit and I offered no resistance. I just kept her going and came back to the original area we were playing in and started again. After doing this 5 or 6 times and keeping her moving as she went home, her expression finally started to change for brief moments as I asked for the circle. She certainly started to look interested. She was doing lots of licking and chewing and seemed to need the time for that. My direct line instincts were driving me to keep going but I was able to resist them (big accomplishment for me). I stopped when she was looking really interested and had a softer expression and just sat with her. I can't wait to see whether it made a change and to play with it again. I am finally starting to enjoy the process and not expect perfection. I feel a personal breakthrough coming on:-)

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My Fast Track Experience at the Ocala Parelli Center

I attended the Fast Track Course in April, and am still processing all I experienced. Where do I begin?

I went into the course after having had to cancel a course 2 years prior and being determined to get there at some point. To be honest, I think I knew somewhere deep down that once I went to the Parelli Center, my life would be changed and I’d be motivated to get involved more deeply and go back more often, which would be a challenge to accomplish. I have a marriage, a business, live across an ocean. Maybe I was avoiding that challenge, and knew there would be no turning back once I got a taste of how great it could be in the “Parelli bubble”.

Well, it was true. I am now motivated to get back and get more involved in the organization, as I am inspired to help spread the message and the incredible atmosphere Parelli creates. If ALL people could experience what I did, regardless of whether they have horses, the world would truly be a different and better place.

One key aspect of the course that affected me was the set up being that we, as students, were completely responsible for our individual experience and this was a consistent piece of the pie. Our coaches told us this from day one and lived the strategy. This turned into a major growth opportunity for me. I felt I had achieved substantial personal growth and awareness before I attended the course, and discovered that the journey truly is always evolving and I can always grow as a person. The best gift was that without all the “noise” of the normal world (no judgment, no other people projecting into my experience, etc) I was left with only me. So, when I saw my lease horse have responses like my horse, two different horsenalities, I had to see that I was the constant in the equation. When I saw that I backed away from putting myself in a public situation yet there was nothing but constant support all around me, I had to admit to myself that I’m the only one who created my story that I’ll seem stupid, or be judged in some way if I put myself in the spotlight. I am the one responsible for not achieving everything I’ve always wanted with horses, because I HAVE BEEN TELLING MYSELF I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH, I’M NOT SKILLED ENOUGH, I’M NOT SMART ENOUGH, ETC. The reason this was such a light bulb experience for me is that I thought I had achieved personal awareness and was just working on dealing with my issues and making the changes. Nope. I knew my overall challenge in life was/is not believing in myself enough which creates fear, inability to be in situations where others might judge me like clinics, events, and so on. However, I now see that I hadn’t really experienced it with clarity. Being at the Parelli Center and surrounded by such positive, supportive people in a world where I could have accomplished absolutely anything and no one would get in my way, I realized I truly am the only one who EVER gets in my way. It’s up to me to let go of the stories I tell myself and stop making assumptions and stop worrying what others think of me. Whew! To sit with that for 4 weeks was such an amazing gift and truly transformational. Boy, the theories Pat teaches are so great for all aspects of life and have become key in helping me make changes in my approach to the world.

I wish I could take a snapshot to share of the environment, and words can’t really describe what it was like. Machinery running as needed in a ranch environment with no one having dramatic reactions and horses that didn’t even seem to notice the big John Deere going by. A new foal going on an outing with his Mama and her rider every day. A horse getting loose and everyone remaining calm while doing what needed to be done to help. Linda Parelli riding over to our class on Remmer with Allure at Liberty playing in the pond, sniffing us but so connected that when she decided it was time to go and rode away on Remmer, it was as if he was attached, but he wasn’t.

This was a place where people were very obviously dedicated and serious about their work and a well thought out system was obviously in place, but as horsemen and women and aspiring horsemen and women, everyone had an attitude of play and endless possibilities, as well as no rules or judgments.

The Fast Track was set up to teach us to be puzzle solvers and I am so very grateful for this. I completely changed my view on some key aspects of my approach with my horse. I hadn’t played with a horse other than my own in a couple years thinking I needed to focus on my Levels progression. Currently, I’m playing with two other horses after realizing all the benefits of spending time with different horses. Having a lease horse that I rode the first day I arrived just completely changed my perspective.

I have a new view of what it really means to be progressive. Every day should look different based on the previous day.

Committing theories to memory, like the 8 Principles, 7 Keys to Success, and 10 Qualities of a Horseman made such a difference. I hadn’t committed those to memory before the course so I wasn’t able to live them. Now that I have, I truly benefit, as they are becoming a part of my actions now that I don’t have to think about them to know them.

Pat spoke to us during our first week and, of course, was so very inspiring. The thing he said that really stood out to me was that we’d become empowered in this course. I held onto that from that day, realizing that was something I really needed. I did feel empowered throughout the course and realize it is up to me every day to make choices that empower me and to choose my attitude on how I live. I no longer believe that one day I’ll finally get some secret to being empowered and all will be perfect from then on. I realize it is a process and each day of my life will offer another opportunity to live the way I want to, to choose to make decisions that help me live my dreams.

So, if today isn’t perfect, or doesn’t go the way I’d hoped, what can I do different tomorrow? Isolate, separate and recombine.