Parelli is a WAY OF LIFE!!

I had a session with David Lichman yesterday and am still amped! It was so inspiring I could hardly sleep last night! I was doing lots of remembering to be sure I don't forget the lessons learned and strategies he gave me...plus the incredible feel! My LBI stuck with it for over 3 hours...of course due to the strategies! We had fun the whole time and I even did liberty in the big arena...within minutes David had my horse so connected to me. We were singing and dancing to the music and I could barely conceal my pure joy! People were having fun just watching:-) I realized that was probably the biggest compliment I could get; to have people who couldn't help but watch because it looked like so much fun. Some horse people, some non horse people. No matter who they were, they could see the fun and joy and wanted to take it in. That was an amazing feeling! This is what it's all about and how any horse clinic or lesson should go. It made me appreciate again the difference in Parelli...it's a lifestyle and WAY MORE THAN RIDING!! I said to David, "I feel like jumping up and down and can hardly contain myself!" He said, "Do it! Let your horse feel your joy." I've had experiences with this horse in this arena where things went downhill so far, so fast because the standard way of thinking is to push and push the horse. I had some scary moments in that arena, but not anymore. The gift in those difficult moments was that they made me commit to Parelli and not ever having those types of moments with my horse again. What a different life I live today; the sky is the limit! I'm so very thankful!

The Ebb and Flow of it

I have been thinking of many topics for blogs lately and am just now getting time to sit down and write. They've gone from moments where I realize how important it is to take the time it takes, to being inspired by other students of Parelli natural horsemanship and making changes with my horse, to really learning about how helpful second hand gold can be. I've also had some not so great days with my horse, where I couldn't seem to get it together and be progressive, or have the right timing, etc. Then, there's life happening during all this:-) I find myself constantly thinking, planning, working things out in my head. I sometimes just stop and move the things out of my brain that aren't truly imperative to my happiness or survival. What I'm settling in with, finally, is the ebb and flow of it all. Truly being in the moment means realizing that there will always be ups and downs and moments of being unsure as well as moments of being on top of the world where everything seems to fall perfectly in place. I have a habit of wanting to resolve things NOW and see the results NOW. I'm really learning to allow for the natural flow of things to unfold and step into the discomfort. Deep breath on that one:-) If I can get this ... REALLY get this, I can truly enjoy every moment in life and know it is unfolding exactly as it is supposed to.

Rewarding the slightest try ... for myself

I went to play with my horse after almost a month away in prep for my L3 Online audition in hopes I'll be able to be accepted into the Instructor course in January. I have a plan and fully expected to need 7 sessions to be ready. I focused hard on rewarding my LBI mare's every try as well as never adding "Make" to the equation. I fully expected jumping the barrels and circling to bring the most challenges and started with fun stuff that I know she enjoys...incorporating food rewards, of course! I wasn't worried about the results as I was viewing this as an assessment of where we were after a few weeks off. What an amazing session! I thought of the 8 principles and 8 responsibilities throughout as well as each session / day being better than the one before. My horse almost immediately started to roll the ball around on her own, checking in to ask if that earned a treat. I went with the play and continued the session. When I asked for her to weave, she offered it at the trot and clearly new what I was asking. Kicking up a bit with sass; what fun! My bull calf moved one of my barrels and when it came time to jump, my horse jumped the one barrel still in place! I decided to make the effort once since she was so tuned in, and she did it!! Wow! I finished the session with her still trying super hard and with an attitude of fun! Was it her trying harder and me not being critical that made it happen, having time off and feeling fresh, or was it that I took the pressure off myself and decided to go with the experience as it presented itself? Or...was it all of the above? I can't wait to see if I can maintain that fun, progressive environment for my horse and me! I realized we are ready to make the video and am excited to do it rather than worried. Maybe I am figuring some things out and making some real changes in me. Either way, I'm gonna revel in each step of the journey and all the opportunities that show up to help me and challenge me.

It's up to me...to get out of my way

I recently took a long trip to a new place with constantly changing circumstances. Talk about experiences offering opportunities to grow! I had another opportunity to see myself in sometimes uncomfortable situations...this time I couldn't get away at all, which is what I would normally opt to do. Through studying Linda Parelli's Horsenality concepts, I was able to see that I go introverted when I feel threatened or overwhelmed (I also did this at my Fast Track course earlier this year). So, I've just been "marinating" on this awareness and am realizing that I have been, to some degree, sabotaging myself. I believe in and talk (a lot) about how we can accomplish anything and have followed that belief. However, when I find myself in a place where it's really happening, I seem to shut down a bit which affects my ability to progress and continue to make things happen. Hmmm. For me, I think it all comes down to looking for approval outside of me because I haven't truly, 100%, found a way to approve of myself. That's my big challenge. The recent realization that I also shut down when I feel threatened rather than speak up for myself really was such a gift in helping me see I still don't completely respect and approve of myself. I kept hearing Linda's words as I pondered and reflected, "It's not about the....." I see now, it's about finding the ability to speak the words calmly without ego rather than bottle them up and go introverted...it's about TRULY approving of me with no need for others to validate me. My journey is up to me, and I have to get out of my own way so I can have the exciting, passion filled life I know is waiting for me. Now, the idea of riding with Pat Parelli scares the heck out of me, but I am determined to be ready and confident enough to find a way to get there and realize my dreams:-)

Trying to become an extreme middle of the roadist

I am definitely more of a carrot person and usually find that I look for reasons not to get firm and find excuses to give another carrot. Having an LBI seems to make it easier for me to do this. I have found it challenging to find the middle of the road over the years, as I am a bit of an extremist with every thing I discover or learn. I recently had an experience that showed me again, how I have to find a way to remain in the middle of the road and not expect extreme results from just one thing. I invited Jim Crew to come to Hawaii and it was amazing! He did a lecture and demo day and my horse was the one that he made some changes to. It was incredible! I hadn't realized she was in pain all these years, but saw the difference in her when she got comfortable. She was fluid and seemed to want to move. I was moved to tears. So...I went out to play with her the next day and basically threw all the horsenality strategies I've learned out the window. Subconsciously, I found my way to a belief that her discomfort had been the reason for all her sluggish tendencies. Well, I was in for a surprise. She didn't like the small round pen and I hadn't used any strategies to get her motivated, so things went downhill fast. I rode the next day, again, not using enough strategies and just going to the arena. This area usually gets her a little amped because we haven't spend a lot of time in there. Also, I used to get a little anxious when in the arena, so there ya go:-) Nope, she would walk, trot, stop, backup, but just couldn't find the energy to canter. On the bright side our clover leaf and follow the rail with no reins was feeling pretty good, which I had to remind myself was a great thing to be aware of. So, the next day I went back to LBI strategies, remembering the 8 principles and checking her body balance which still seemed good. I saw her get motivated again. I've begun to find my way to the middle of the road, but how long can I stay here this time? I finally am okay accepting each situation that arises and am grateful I can recognize when I'm there and when I've gone too far to either side of things. I'm finding fun in puzzle solving to find what gets results. Now, can I remain in that frame of mind in front of people and not put my ego ahead of my horse's needs? The journey continues.

Trying for Zero Brace

After hearing Linda talk about zero brace a few times and reading her recent blog along with one student's comment, in particular, I got motivated to try it with my LBI mare. Yesterday I decided to attempt circles Online with the 22' line and set it up for zero brace. I figured we'd REALLY drift because she usually pushes on the end of the line and I usually stand firm in the center of my circle and we do end up with brace. It was close to feeding time and I was playing near my paddock, so she definitely had her mind on food. After starting the session with our fun "I whistle and you come into the halter" game, I did a little lead by the tail and sideways toward, which she enjoys, and offered a couple treat rewards and then on to the circle. Well, first of all, she didn't move much, as she was more introverted and getting that look of "I'm stuck in my head" rather than punky "I don't want to", so I waited. When she came out of it, I tried again with a big send and off she went with a couple strides of trot and then back to the walk. I kept my focus on the goal of zero brace. As she came around the circle she headed on toward the barn and I went with it. She was pulling a bit and I offered no resistance. I just kept her going and came back to the original area we were playing in and started again. After doing this 5 or 6 times and keeping her moving as she went home, her expression finally started to change for brief moments as I asked for the circle. She certainly started to look interested. She was doing lots of licking and chewing and seemed to need the time for that. My direct line instincts were driving me to keep going but I was able to resist them (big accomplishment for me). I stopped when she was looking really interested and had a softer expression and just sat with her. I can't wait to see whether it made a change and to play with it again. I am finally starting to enjoy the process and not expect perfection. I feel a personal breakthrough coming on:-)

My Fast Track Experience at the Ocala Parelli Center

I attended the Fast Track Course in April, and am still processing all I experienced. Where do I begin?

I went into the course after having had to cancel a course 2 years prior and being determined to get there at some point. To be honest, I think I knew somewhere deep down that once I went to the Parelli Center, my life would be changed and I’d be motivated to get involved more deeply and go back more often, which would be a challenge to accomplish. I have a marriage, a business, live across an ocean. Maybe I was avoiding that challenge, and knew there would be no turning back once I got a taste of how great it could be in the “Parelli bubble”.

Well, it was true. I am now motivated to get back and get more involved in the organization, as I am inspired to help spread the message and the incredible atmosphere Parelli creates. If ALL people could experience what I did, regardless of whether they have horses, the world would truly be a different and better place.

One key aspect of the course that affected me was the set up being that we, as students, were completely responsible for our individual experience and this was a consistent piece of the pie. Our coaches told us this from day one and lived the strategy. This turned into a major growth opportunity for me. I felt I had achieved substantial personal growth and awareness before I attended the course, and discovered that the journey truly is always evolving and I can always grow as a person. The best gift was that without all the “noise” of the normal world (no judgment, no other people projecting into my experience, etc) I was left with only me. So, when I saw my lease horse have responses like my horse, two different horsenalities, I had to see that I was the constant in the equation. When I saw that I backed away from putting myself in a public situation yet there was nothing but constant support all around me, I had to admit to myself that I’m the only one who created my story that I’ll seem stupid, or be judged in some way if I put myself in the spotlight. I am the one responsible for not achieving everything I’ve always wanted with horses, because I HAVE BEEN TELLING MYSELF I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH, I’M NOT SKILLED ENOUGH, I’M NOT SMART ENOUGH, ETC. The reason this was such a light bulb experience for me is that I thought I had achieved personal awareness and was just working on dealing with my issues and making the changes. Nope. I knew my overall challenge in life was/is not believing in myself enough which creates fear, inability to be in situations where others might judge me like clinics, events, and so on. However, I now see that I hadn’t really experienced it with clarity. Being at the Parelli Center and surrounded by such positive, supportive people in a world where I could have accomplished absolutely anything and no one would get in my way, I realized I truly am the only one who EVER gets in my way. It’s up to me to let go of the stories I tell myself and stop making assumptions and stop worrying what others think of me. Whew! To sit with that for 4 weeks was such an amazing gift and truly transformational. Boy, the theories Pat teaches are so great for all aspects of life and have become key in helping me make changes in my approach to the world.

I wish I could take a snapshot to share of the environment, and words can’t really describe what it was like. Machinery running as needed in a ranch environment with no one having dramatic reactions and horses that didn’t even seem to notice the big John Deere going by. A new foal going on an outing with his Mama and her rider every day. A horse getting loose and everyone remaining calm while doing what needed to be done to help. Linda Parelli riding over to our class on Remmer with Allure at Liberty playing in the pond, sniffing us but so connected that when she decided it was time to go and rode away on Remmer, it was as if he was attached, but he wasn’t.

This was a place where people were very obviously dedicated and serious about their work and a well thought out system was obviously in place, but as horsemen and women and aspiring horsemen and women, everyone had an attitude of play and endless possibilities, as well as no rules or judgments.

The Fast Track was set up to teach us to be puzzle solvers and I am so very grateful for this. I completely changed my view on some key aspects of my approach with my horse. I hadn’t played with a horse other than my own in a couple years thinking I needed to focus on my Levels progression. Currently, I’m playing with two other horses after realizing all the benefits of spending time with different horses. Having a lease horse that I rode the first day I arrived just completely changed my perspective.

I have a new view of what it really means to be progressive. Every day should look different based on the previous day.

Committing theories to memory, like the 8 Principles, 7 Keys to Success, and 10 Qualities of a Horseman made such a difference. I hadn’t committed those to memory before the course so I wasn’t able to live them. Now that I have, I truly benefit, as they are becoming a part of my actions now that I don’t have to think about them to know them.

Pat spoke to us during our first week and, of course, was so very inspiring. The thing he said that really stood out to me was that we’d become empowered in this course. I held onto that from that day, realizing that was something I really needed. I did feel empowered throughout the course and realize it is up to me every day to make choices that empower me and to choose my attitude on how I live. I no longer believe that one day I’ll finally get some secret to being empowered and all will be perfect from then on. I realize it is a process and each day of my life will offer another opportunity to live the way I want to, to choose to make decisions that help me live my dreams.

So, if today isn’t perfect, or doesn’t go the way I’d hoped, what can I do different tomorrow? Isolate, separate and recombine.