Trying to become an extreme middle of the roadist

I am definitely more of a carrot person and usually find that I look for reasons not to get firm and find excuses to give another carrot. Having an LBI seems to make it easier for me to do this. I have found it challenging to find the middle of the road over the years, as I am a bit of an extremist with every thing I discover or learn. I recently had an experience that showed me again, how I have to find a way to remain in the middle of the road and not expect extreme results from just one thing. I invited Jim Crew to come to Hawaii and it was amazing! He did a lecture and demo day and my horse was the one that he made some changes to. It was incredible! I hadn't realized she was in pain all these years, but saw the difference in her when she got comfortable. She was fluid and seemed to want to move. I was moved to tears. So...I went out to play with her the next day and basically threw all the horsenality strategies I've learned out the window. Subconsciously, I found my way to a belief that her discomfort had been the reason for all her sluggish tendencies. Well, I was in for a surprise. She didn't like the small round pen and I hadn't used any strategies to get her motivated, so things went downhill fast. I rode the next day, again, not using enough strategies and just going to the arena. This area usually gets her a little amped because we haven't spend a lot of time in there. Also, I used to get a little anxious when in the arena, so there ya go:-) Nope, she would walk, trot, stop, backup, but just couldn't find the energy to canter. On the bright side our clover leaf and follow the rail with no reins was feeling pretty good, which I had to remind myself was a great thing to be aware of. So, the next day I went back to LBI strategies, remembering the 8 principles and checking her body balance which still seemed good. I saw her get motivated again. I've begun to find my way to the middle of the road, but how long can I stay here this time? I finally am okay accepting each situation that arises and am grateful I can recognize when I'm there and when I've gone too far to either side of things. I'm finding fun in puzzle solving to find what gets results. Now, can I remain in that frame of mind in front of people and not put my ego ahead of my horse's needs? The journey continues.

Trying for Zero Brace

After hearing Linda talk about zero brace a few times and reading her recent blog along with one student's comment, in particular, I got motivated to try it with my LBI mare. Yesterday I decided to attempt circles Online with the 22' line and set it up for zero brace. I figured we'd REALLY drift because she usually pushes on the end of the line and I usually stand firm in the center of my circle and we do end up with brace. It was close to feeding time and I was playing near my paddock, so she definitely had her mind on food. After starting the session with our fun "I whistle and you come into the halter" game, I did a little lead by the tail and sideways toward, which she enjoys, and offered a couple treat rewards and then on to the circle. Well, first of all, she didn't move much, as she was more introverted and getting that look of "I'm stuck in my head" rather than punky "I don't want to", so I waited. When she came out of it, I tried again with a big send and off she went with a couple strides of trot and then back to the walk. I kept my focus on the goal of zero brace. As she came around the circle she headed on toward the barn and I went with it. She was pulling a bit and I offered no resistance. I just kept her going and came back to the original area we were playing in and started again. After doing this 5 or 6 times and keeping her moving as she went home, her expression finally started to change for brief moments as I asked for the circle. She certainly started to look interested. She was doing lots of licking and chewing and seemed to need the time for that. My direct line instincts were driving me to keep going but I was able to resist them (big accomplishment for me). I stopped when she was looking really interested and had a softer expression and just sat with her. I can't wait to see whether it made a change and to play with it again. I am finally starting to enjoy the process and not expect perfection. I feel a personal breakthrough coming on:-)

My Fast Track Experience at the Ocala Parelli Center

I attended the Fast Track Course in April, and am still processing all I experienced. Where do I begin?

I went into the course after having had to cancel a course 2 years prior and being determined to get there at some point. To be honest, I think I knew somewhere deep down that once I went to the Parelli Center, my life would be changed and I’d be motivated to get involved more deeply and go back more often, which would be a challenge to accomplish. I have a marriage, a business, live across an ocean. Maybe I was avoiding that challenge, and knew there would be no turning back once I got a taste of how great it could be in the “Parelli bubble”.

Well, it was true. I am now motivated to get back and get more involved in the organization, as I am inspired to help spread the message and the incredible atmosphere Parelli creates. If ALL people could experience what I did, regardless of whether they have horses, the world would truly be a different and better place.

One key aspect of the course that affected me was the set up being that we, as students, were completely responsible for our individual experience and this was a consistent piece of the pie. Our coaches told us this from day one and lived the strategy. This turned into a major growth opportunity for me. I felt I had achieved substantial personal growth and awareness before I attended the course, and discovered that the journey truly is always evolving and I can always grow as a person. The best gift was that without all the “noise” of the normal world (no judgment, no other people projecting into my experience, etc) I was left with only me. So, when I saw my lease horse have responses like my horse, two different horsenalities, I had to see that I was the constant in the equation. When I saw that I backed away from putting myself in a public situation yet there was nothing but constant support all around me, I had to admit to myself that I’m the only one who created my story that I’ll seem stupid, or be judged in some way if I put myself in the spotlight. I am the one responsible for not achieving everything I’ve always wanted with horses, because I HAVE BEEN TELLING MYSELF I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH, I’M NOT SKILLED ENOUGH, I’M NOT SMART ENOUGH, ETC. The reason this was such a light bulb experience for me is that I thought I had achieved personal awareness and was just working on dealing with my issues and making the changes. Nope. I knew my overall challenge in life was/is not believing in myself enough which creates fear, inability to be in situations where others might judge me like clinics, events, and so on. However, I now see that I hadn’t really experienced it with clarity. Being at the Parelli Center and surrounded by such positive, supportive people in a world where I could have accomplished absolutely anything and no one would get in my way, I realized I truly am the only one who EVER gets in my way. It’s up to me to let go of the stories I tell myself and stop making assumptions and stop worrying what others think of me. Whew! To sit with that for 4 weeks was such an amazing gift and truly transformational. Boy, the theories Pat teaches are so great for all aspects of life and have become key in helping me make changes in my approach to the world.

I wish I could take a snapshot to share of the environment, and words can’t really describe what it was like. Machinery running as needed in a ranch environment with no one having dramatic reactions and horses that didn’t even seem to notice the big John Deere going by. A new foal going on an outing with his Mama and her rider every day. A horse getting loose and everyone remaining calm while doing what needed to be done to help. Linda Parelli riding over to our class on Remmer with Allure at Liberty playing in the pond, sniffing us but so connected that when she decided it was time to go and rode away on Remmer, it was as if he was attached, but he wasn’t.

This was a place where people were very obviously dedicated and serious about their work and a well thought out system was obviously in place, but as horsemen and women and aspiring horsemen and women, everyone had an attitude of play and endless possibilities, as well as no rules or judgments.

The Fast Track was set up to teach us to be puzzle solvers and I am so very grateful for this. I completely changed my view on some key aspects of my approach with my horse. I hadn’t played with a horse other than my own in a couple years thinking I needed to focus on my Levels progression. Currently, I’m playing with two other horses after realizing all the benefits of spending time with different horses. Having a lease horse that I rode the first day I arrived just completely changed my perspective.

I have a new view of what it really means to be progressive. Every day should look different based on the previous day.

Committing theories to memory, like the 8 Principles, 7 Keys to Success, and 10 Qualities of a Horseman made such a difference. I hadn’t committed those to memory before the course so I wasn’t able to live them. Now that I have, I truly benefit, as they are becoming a part of my actions now that I don’t have to think about them to know them.

Pat spoke to us during our first week and, of course, was so very inspiring. The thing he said that really stood out to me was that we’d become empowered in this course. I held onto that from that day, realizing that was something I really needed. I did feel empowered throughout the course and realize it is up to me every day to make choices that empower me and to choose my attitude on how I live. I no longer believe that one day I’ll finally get some secret to being empowered and all will be perfect from then on. I realize it is a process and each day of my life will offer another opportunity to live the way I want to, to choose to make decisions that help me live my dreams.

So, if today isn’t perfect, or doesn’t go the way I’d hoped, what can I do different tomorrow? Isolate, separate and recombine.

One week to go - Fast Track 3

I'm really working at not getting anxious or overwhelmed with prep for the course in Fl. I am so excited to have this opportunity and am determined to remain emotionally fit:-) It's a bit difficult not to get stressed about leaving hubby, animals, and business for four weeks. I have lots of support and help and believe all will go well while I'm away. Step into the uncomfortable for growth, right?

Play with the horse that shows up

I was planning, yesterday, to spend some time playing OL and Freestyle in the arena. Let me say, the arena has been my nemesis. I'm much more comfortable riding up the mountain with the cows. My horse and I have had a couple bad experiences in the arena and it became a threshold for me. We did have a great experience there last month when David Lichman visited, so I've been going back some, but have not made a program of it. AFter watching the new L3 videos I was very motivated to do just that. So off we went. The arena had a few people in it, so I began playing OL with the 22' rope outside the arena. Things were going okay in the beginning, but she wasn't truly connecting, so I tried to get more interesting by changing things up. Each time she pulled out of the circle, I said "go sideways". Each time she ate grass, I did the same. I used change of direction when she didn't maintain gait. She went from okay to "Now I'm not happy with you; I want to eat grass". I ignored that and tried to match her energy, which didn't go too high considering what I've seen her do in the past. I kept my music playing and remained calm throughout. Yeah!! Personal victory. Still listening to "Hey Soul Sister" by Train:-) She had a couple RB moments and really became hyper alert at the pond nearby. There are lots of tall grasses and bushes/trees around, so she could hear things she couldn't see. I did lots of retreat and sideways and backup. At one point, she went to eat grass while on the circle after we had retreated and I looked at her and thought she might be sticking her head in the sand. She looked a bit introverted so I decided not to put more pressure on her, just wait and see. Lots of blinking while eating grass. Eventually, she began to look like she wasn't introverted and was breathing naturally, so I began playing again. She wasn't totally RB, but she was unconfident about the pond, so I decided to change my plan and take as long as we needed to build her confidence. Tested the squeeze game between me and the pond from far away. Jesse did it, but wasn't confident. Turn and face. Back up/retreat. Lick and Chew. Do it again. We did this until she was squeezing between me and the pond confidently, then moved closer. Each time she would lick and chew after a squeeze, or put her head down to look for grass, I'd start again. Eventually, she was right next to the pond eating grass and calm. The best part of this was that I had a strategy and wasn't worried about what people around me were thinking. I felt confident and was only concerned about doing what the horse needed. Breakthrough for me! My horse asked me so many questions and seemed to be looking to me for comfort throughout. Beautiful!! I put on her bridle and rode up the mountain to go through the cows. She did try to eat grass some and had her opinions about which way to go, but never was there an argument. I practiced indirect and direct rein and follow the trail with the fence and paths in the pasture. My horse walked under the fly rope hung for the cows when I lifted it very confidently. We cantered and trotted to work on purity of gait. She was calm, cool, and collected with both. Didn't maintain gait perfectly, but definite progress:-) Stopped with my energy from both. I didn't cry, but came awfully close:-) She didn't take the left lead, but did take the right lead when I put my right arm forward and tickled her with my left hand. We'll do bowtie to work at that left lead. She did pick up both leads OL. What a journey!

Online notes

Ok; so this has been extraordinary for me! I've had three sessions Online since my last OL post. For sessions 6 and 7 of purity of gait program, I remained on the 45' line and my horse has begun to offer canter and is much more consistent at maintaining the trot. I used change of direction as a strategy if she broke gait. She would go in the opposite direction and I would say, "great! ...and then some". It was going well.

THEN...I received the new Level 3 pack I had just ordered and watched Pat show us what Level 3 OL is all about.

So, two days ago, after riding, I had the chance to play with all the new ideas I had after being so inspired by the video. I went to the 22' line and used the techniques Pat showed (or at least tried to:). My horse was truly riveted! Very little arguing; just a couple snippy small kicks with the hind leg. I hardly used the stick; mainly the strategies. My horse eventually got her ears on me, was showing exuberance...yes; my horse was showing exuberance! Now I know what it looks like:-) It was going so well and I knew I needed to change games when she offered so much so as not to nag or bore her, so I decided to focus on the squeeze game. Lots of small limbs and palm frans around the field, so I started small and slow. Then, I asked for more impulsion. Then I increased challenge of squeeze with my final goal as the barrel. She jumped it four times! Time to stop and REWARD!!! Man, what a feeling!

Note: at the barrel, she got caught between wanting to move it and jump it, as she figured out what I was asking for. Next thing I knew she had kind of stumbled on the barrel with her front leg putting her weight on it. It gave a bit and cracked. Just wait, I thought; let's see. She looked at me, I stood there calmly and breathing. She got her weight organized and stood back up. Back to the game, I said.
Whew!

So, THAT'S WHAT PARELLI HAS DONE FOR ME! I've got a horse who has stepped on the reins and gotten a front foot through, had the saddle under her belly (twice I'm embarrassed to say), stepped in a huge sink hole that could've been a leg breaker, and laid on a barrel that cracked under her...all situations which she thought her way out of and NO BIG DEAL. Thanks Pat and Linda! If I never progressed from here, I'm already there:-)

Freestyle riding

I've ridden two times since last post on freestyle; all up the mountain with the cows. The session after my last post, I noticed my horse had a scrape on her left hind leg and a scrape on her foot. She didn't seem to be sore, so I wrapped the foot to ensure no further scraping and decided to ride, as we were supposed to check on some cows and calves. I had been feeling great about my OL program, so I decided to ride in the rope hackamore. What a great ride! I do use the reins too much, but found my horse is exactly the same without a bit as she is with a bit. Some snatching grass, but responds to my suggestion and backed up great as well. We had a beautiful ride. I used partial disengagement if she appeared to be going to eat grass and decided to take it easy that day; just walk around from point to point checking the cows. My horse got lots of rest time as I was sitting and watching a couple cows that appeared injured.

However, she was pulling toward home a bit, initially, so I turned and ran home...and then some. We cantered all the way back to the mountain gate and she went over small logs, through koa and tall grasses up hills...fun! After that, she was way more in tune with where my focus was when we quietly walked back where we needed to go.

Then, the most incredible gift! I saw a cow give birth. Such a beautiful day!

We were so in tune, I decided to canter back home and test both of our emotional fitness levels:-) It felt amazing!

Note: I played music throughout my prep and ride this day...makes a huge difference for me. My current favorite song for keeping my emotional balance is "Hey Soul Sister" by Train.

After that ride, I gave her a few days off to ensure her scrapes healed up and didn't want to make them worse by accidentally scraping something else. She had stepped into a huge sink hole during our last ride and was calm and confident enough to step out of it after she stumbled and, luckily, there was no harm done. But, I wanted to be sure there was no inflammation the next day.

Tuesday, we helped move the cows. Lots of sitting and watching as these cows come when called and know what to do! Very cool! I am learning the system and all the gates, etc, so this day was more about work for me. Also, the ground was muddy around some gates, so we were moving rocks to make walking paths in the mud. So, my horse really got rest. We only had to really move a few cows down to the new pasture, and my horse seemed to enjoy it. The small herd of 19 head came running toward us when called and we led while they followed us. My horse was a little amped and I didn't do groundwork before riding, so she got a little concerned. I turned and faced the cows and bent her where necessary, and she was fine. Very interesting for her to have them running up behind her. Great experience for this LBI.

Yesterday, I was so excited to ride after watching the new L3 Freestyle video with Pat, but we got a surprise rain storm, so I spent lots of undemanding time and groomed her to ease her itchiness and help her shed out...that time of year.

Spent time with Mambo (6 month old bull calf who lives with my horse), too. I had my horse loosely tied when it started raining. She was a little concerned at first so I decided to wait 'til she was calm and confident and then untied her. She walked away a bit...toward the horse she lives with, but then came back for a while. Nice!